Today’s blog post is going to be around the topic of masking. This will include a bit about where the term came from, what it means now, how it presents and the impact it can have.
Masking as a term has been used in a few ways in the past, though usually in the same context: trying to avoid standing out as different. It has been used to describe how African Americans would alter their mannerisms around white people in the 50s to be more accepted, and in the later 1900s to describe someone who is trying to hide their disgust about something. Since that time, its main meaning in concealing personality has not changed.
The modern use of the term masking is primarily to describe someone who is neurodivergent trying to ‘fit in’; this can mean mimicking the behaviour of neurotypical people, or suppressing personality traits that might be attributed to neurodivergence. People who are neurodivergent might mask for a number of reasons, and can even mask without realising, almost as a reflex. Some of these reasons are being raised to try and fit in, attending an interview or doing a presentation, or avoiding a negative reaction to their ‘difference’, particularly around new people.
Regardless of the reason, the core motivation tends to be the same: feeling as though they need to present a certain way in a situation to be accepted. The need to be accepted can also be borne from a feeling of self-preservation. Neurodivergent individuals may not be able to safely be themselves for many reasons, particularly past experiences where they have been hurt or mistreated for not acting a certain ‘normal’ way.
Masking tends to look the same for different individuals, from an outsider’s perspective. This makes sense because when people mask, they’re trying to mimic the ‘normal’ way to behave. It’s interesting, then, to think about what it can feel like and actually entail for the individual. Masking will usually involve doing things that would usually be unpleasant for the individual. This can include making more eye contact, trying not to stim*1 , being more self-conscious of talking too much about certain things, putting on facial expressions and many other behaviours in order to blend in. This can be a very stressful experience, as it is basically the act of trying to simulate something that some people are able to do naturally. Some people might even describe masking as putting on a mask of a collection of different traits.
Those who are under more pressure to mask might create a more ‘realistic’ mask to hide behind, or one with different features. For example, girls are much less likely to be diagnosed than boys with neurodivergent developmental conditions. There has often been a greater amount of pressure on young girls to fit in, often associated with phrases like ‘being ladylike’, in contrast with phrases such as ‘boys will be boys’. Neurodivergent girls will be under more pressure to create a quieter, more controlled appearance, and one which fits in more. Masking is about mimicking behaviour, so if society is pushing an accepted behaviour, that is what will be mimicked. This can also be seen in people with different cultural or ethnic backgrounds.
For some, the above may sound fairly simple, as though it wouldn’t require much energy; after all, it’s just doing what everyone else is doing, right? Unfortunately, this is not the case: masking can be an incredibly mentally exhausting task. The physical drain of it can even cause some people to avoid social situations, not wanting to experience the discomfort and low energy levels that come from having to mask for extended periods. For neurodivergent people, this task can be an extra burden on top of already finding social settings harder (due to things like sensory overload or struggling to understand body language or tone). All this when taken together means a single conversation can be a much bigger task for someone who is neurodivergent when compared to someone who isn’t.
It is also worth noting that people will not mask all the time. Sometimes people can be too tired to mask or might be with a familiar person they are comfortable around and naturally drop the mask out of instinct. This can lead to misconceptions of people thinking someone is annoyed at them or is upset because of things like not smiling as much.
In summary, masking is when someone isn’t being themselves, because unfortunately, the world often tells us we don’t fit in otherwise. It isn’t a particularly enjoyable experience and can even distress some people, yet equally unmasking can be just as scary due to not knowing how some people will treat you.
I hope this post can help people be more understanding of each other, and maybe even better understand their own behaviours, there is a description for stimming below, which has also been added to the linked definitions post.
New terms:
*1, Stimming is an action performed by anyone regardless of neurodiversity, usually to calm down, self-soothe or even just for enjoyment of the sensation. Stimming can take many forms, from a physical movement such as clicking your fingers or tapping, to making sounds like popping noises. While everyone does stim in one way or another, people who are neurodivergent are often more reliant on stimming.
Link to post about terms below:
https://lukehalpinresearch.com/2023/05/18/a-guide-of-terms-for-this-blog/